TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, DRUG USE.
Lesedi
Their relationship went by like a whirlwind, I had seen it start but even I was among the people who said “It’s moving too fast”. How could I not be?
They had gone from pushing each other on the park swings to posting each other on social media, being seen together 24/7 on campus, getting each other’s names tattooed on their bodies and even moving in together. By the third week of dating, Ayo was already in the process of moving into the two-bedroom loft I shared with Ade.
The loft had been a gift from Ade’s father to congratulate him on his independence. It was a two bedroom that had one bathroom. Ade had the room upstairs and I had the downstairs room. I woke up first so I always used the bathroom first, but now there was this girl who woke up around the same time I did, who would use the shower before me.
I’m not going to lie, I hated Ayo. I hated that she envaded my space. I hated that she smiled at me and tried to be nice to me not because she had an agenda, but because that was who she was. I hated the way she made Ade laugh, I hated that when he was sad he would talk to her about things. I had always been the only person he trusted with his demons, now he shared them with her too. I hated that Ade made it so clear thats she wasn’t like any of the other people he had been with before. I hated that once, when Ayo had asked Ade why the two of us had never been together, he hadn’t said “because Lesedi is my best friend” instead he’d said “Because I’m with you baby”. I hated that Ayo stood in the way of my future with Ade.
They never fought, and I mean never. They would have what Ayo called “hard conversations”. Of course they were still in the honeymoon phase, but I digress. They would sit in the living room and talk about how Ade was a jealous person, or how Ayo never washed the dishes. Sometimes their hard conversations involved me. Maybe that week I’d left my wet socks in the bathroom and Ayo felt that we had to have a “hard conversation” about hygiene. I despised her, so if you’re asking motive, I had one.
The first time they fought was a scene. Ade decided that he wanted to throw Ayo a surprise birthday party at the loft. I had helped plan it. The week leading up to the party, Ade had been acting strange. He was no longer loud and bashful, instead he’d turned cold, distant and angry. I was used to these random changes in his demeanour, but Ayo wasn’t. She was working on her art portfolio for a final mark at the time, so she had been staying at her parent’s house. Something about how being in her childhood home kept her at “peak creativity”; she was always saying corny shit like that.
Her absence made Ade’s mood worse. He would randomly go into violent outbursts where he would just break things, throw things, and even punch walls. I understood why he was like that; he’d just found out that his mother was back in the country and hadn’t tried to come see him. Ade’s daddy issues made him a non-committal, selfish person who was great in bed (so I’d heard), but his mommy issues made him hate himself, want to kill himself.
So Ade wasn’t just angry, he was deeply hurt. Whenever he was hurt, he would either shut down completely or lash out at the world. This time, he was in a lashing out mode. Nevertheless, he insisted that we throw Ayo that party.
“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, she deserves nice things. I want to do nice things for her,” were his words. They made me want to gag.
Due to his mood swings, I planned the party by myself. I arranged the DJ, the special performance from Sonia (an upcoming artist who went to our school), the giant cake, the theme, decor, venue, everything. I made sure that I made everything perfect. I hated Ayo, but I loved Ade and would have done anything for him, if he wanted Ayo to be happy then I would make her happy.
Ade was drunk before the party even started. He insisted that it was because he didn’t want Ayo to see him in a low mood. Ade and I had a rule: no drinking when we’re upset. I knew he was drinking to numb the pain, but I let him, because I could see how badly he needed me to let it slide just this once. The rest of the evening, I was preoccupied with making sure that the party went smoothly. I didn’t notice when he went into the bathroom to snort cocaine.
Ayo’s friends arrived with her at 9pm, at which point all the guests had arrived, a few of them drunk/high already. Ade was the most inebriated of them all. When she walked in Ade immediately rushed to her side, at this point they hadn’t seen each other in five days. I’m sure in their time it felt more like 5 years. Of course she had looked like an angel, bathed in golden light and beaming at the crowd of people yelling “surprise!” at her. She’d immediately looked at Ade, gushed and asked him if he planned it all by himself. The bastard had said yes, “I’d do anything for you,” he’d said. I remember rolling my eyes.
The party started on a good note now that the birthday girl had arrived. Everyone was having fun, and people kept approaching Ayo to wish her a happy birthday. Some of those people were people Ade had dated in the past, the jealousy in their faces for Ayo made me laugh. However, when they looked at me it was only pity, I hated them for it.
Ade made a speech, proclaiming his love for Ayo from the top of the balcony. Anyone could tell he was drunk, but only I noticed the way he wouldn’t stop sniffing, the redness of his eyes and the slight ticking of his left eye. It was clear to me that Ade was high. That’s when I started getting nervous, Ade got violent when he was high. After his speech, he joined Ayo where she had been sitting with his friends, myself included.
They started making out in front of us, whispering “I missed yous” in front of us. It started to seem like Ade wanted to do a little bit more than making out, which Ayo was conscious about. There were too many people around. Ade got angry, and he whispered to her “you ungrateful bitch”. It was a tiny whisper, and no one else seemed to notice except me. I could tell he regretted it immediately after he’d said it. However, once he’d said it it was too late to take it back. Ayo looked hurt, and shocked. She’d never seen that side of him, the side that was eager to destroy everything good in his life.
He got up from where he was sitting and went to his room. Ayo just sat where she was, stunned. Everyone else was too caught up in what they were doing to notice the tears welling up in her eyes. She excused herself and followed Ade. I knew better than to let her, but I wanted her to see who Ade was. I wanted her to see exactly how horrid he could get. I wanted her to see, to get scared, to leave. I wanted her to leave him; before he could ruin her, but mostly because I wanted him to myself.
❤️❤️❤️☄️🚀