Trigger Warning: Violence, Rape
Ruth
I wasn't supposed to be in that room. I had strayed from the party on purpose, made my way to Ade's room because I knew where it was. I wanted to smell him, so I laid on his bed, sniffed his pillows. I flinched when I got a hint of a woman's perfume, knowing very well it belonged to Ayo. Ade didn't cheat on Ayo, and if he did, he wouldn't do it in the bed she sleeps in.
I was in the midst of going through the walk-in closet he now shared with Ayo when I heard rapid, angry footsteps coming my way. I immediately crouched down and hid behind one of the shelves, hoping no one would know I was in the room. Ade walked in, he was stumbling through the room, angry and drunk. He took a sip of the drink he was holding before throwing it across the room, into the closet where I was hiding. I almost screamed, but I knew better than to face an angry Ade.
He started throwing lamps around, breaking them, punching walls and kicking closet doors. He was at the closet entrance, and I was getting scared, that he would see me and turn me into his punching bag. He was disrupted by Ayo walking into the room, looking beautiful, as always. She too looked upset, like she wanted to cry, but more than anything, she seemed shocked when she saw what Ade had done.
I had known Ade for a very long time and I knew him for the messed up creature he was. I knew him for his narcissistic nature. Ade would build you up into an untouchable enigma, he would build you up and mould you into his image of perfection. Everything about him screamed upgrade, he was in your life to upgrade you. He would worship the ground you walked on, he would show you a love like you had never experienced before. His love felt like the sun; it felt warm, brought out the best in you and made you feel protected.
The thing with the sun is that if you feel it for too long you get burnt. Ade's love was conditional; he only treated you well on the condition that you behaved the way he expected you to. His love was conditional on you toeing the invisible line he'd drawn for you in his mind. The moment you acted out, demanded more, or denied him of anything; he would reduce you to absolutely nothing. He would then subject you to the worst cruelty.
"Ade what is wrong with you? Why are you so angry? How could you say that to me?" she asked, looking genuinely concerned about him. She wasn't angry, just hurt, I could hear it in her voice. Whatever Ade had said to her, it must've been bad. I knew in that moment, that Ayo had failed to toe the line. I could see Ade's face from where I was seated, and I desperately wanted to yell at Ayo, tell her to get out of the room. I knew that look, I'd been on the receiving end of it before.
I was too late. Ade slapped her across the face. It wasn't an average slap, it was definitely the kind that stung like a dozen bee stings, one that would leave a bruise for days. Ayo was shocked, I wasn't. She screamed, I flinched. The people downstairs wouldn't have been able to hear her through the loud music. She fell onto the bed and Ade then took off his belt. He looked at her for a moment, threw the belt to the side and started kissing her.
Ayo tried to push him off, crying. However, he was pinning her down with one arm and choking her with the other. She was only wearing a dress, which Ade tried to push upwards with his knees. I watched them, horrified, and yet I couldn't look away. Ayo then started kicking at him. It was at that moment that someone started banging on the door outside. Ade still didn't stop, he was getting impatient, so he ripped her dress in half. Ayo used this opportunity to beg him to stop. "Ade, this isn't you. This isn't you baby please listen to me stop, you're hurting me, Ade!"
I don't know what it was, maybe it was the fear in her voice, or the ceaseless banging on the door, but Ade immediately got off of her. Yelling all kinds of profanity, he opened the door, I couldn't see who it was from my perspective, but I knew Lesedi's voice. Ayo was still sobbing on the bed. I was in my corner, terrified about what had almost happened in the room, and that I had done nothing to stop it. I had been shocked, paralysed by my own memories of when he had done something similar to me.
Lesedi came into the room and told Ade to leave, go get some fresh air. I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't shocked at all, he wasn't horrified at all. Instead, he looked satisfied. He had a spare dress in his hand, he sat next to Ayo and placed the dress next to her. "Put this on Ayo, wash your face. I'll call an uber for you. You should go home. He's not going to calm down anytime soon. If I were you, I wouldn't come back here."
Ayo looked at him then, her face was red from all the crying and her left cheek already swelling, "Did you let me come up here knowing he would be like this Lesedi? Did you want him to hurt me?"
Lesedi shrugged, urged her to leave again, before walking out of the room. He paused before walking out of the room and looked in my direction. We made eye contact, he smiled, and then he left like he hadn't seen anything. It was only later on that night, after Ayo had left and I went downstairs to re-join the party that Lesedi confronted me.
"You saw everything Ruthie," I hated that nickname, it was something that Lesedi had always called me. It made me feel small, powerless, and I knew he only called me that to mock me. Lesedi hated me, but then again Lesedi hated all of Ade's paramours. I didn't answer him, I didn't have to, he already knew the answer.
"Well, you shouldn't even be at this party. We have a restraining order against you remember? Honestly, one would think after all these years you would move on," it hadn't been that long, a year was not that long. I didn't say that to him though, I just let him keep talking, "You won't say anything, right Ruthie? You love him too much to let him get into trouble, don't you?" Again, he already knew the answer.
I felt sorry for Ayo, she was a sweet girl, innocent even, but she had chosen to get involved with Ade. She had been warned, I know that for sure, but she'd been obstinate and had decided to keep dealing with him. The consequences of loving Ade were great, and it was about time she came to face them. I hoped, just like I'm sure Lesedi hoped, that she would stay away from Ade from then on. I know Lesedi wanted him for himself, I on the other hand just wanted him to suffer alone.
So no, I wasn't going to tell anyone that Ade had hit Ayo, and almost raped her. I was going to keep his secret, just like I had been keeping his secrets since the day we met. I loved him, I hated him, but I was going to decide how he suffered.
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