So, I'm back. I know you guys must be tired of this by now; my prolonged breaks from posting anything on the blog and then coming back like nothing happened. I sincerely apologize, although I know this definitely won't be the last time I do this. Now, I have a very good and valid reason why I haven't been posting anything for this long.
Before I get into that, I'd just like to explain the title of "The Prodigal Son". I think any average person who's read the Bible would know the parable of the prodigal son, which is a story that Jesus tells his disciples in Luke. Now I'm definitely not going to go into a religious rant about this, but the story is about a rich kid who took his allowance from his father, ran away from home, ate all the money and then came back home with his tail between his legs. The message of the story is about unconditional love and whatever, but I digress, in this instance I am the Prodigal Son. No matter what happens, I will always come back to the blog, which is home to me.
The past few weeks/months of my life have been a lot emotionally and mentally. I have been going through the most; I've been writing tests, doing a very content-heavy theme, while simultaneously dealing with my own personal issues. So in short, I was going through the most; stressed and depressed if you will. I think that at some point I was even thinking of getting admitted into hospital because life was just really overwhelming. Throughout this period, I really didn't have it in me to sit in front of my laptop and write. If I was in front of my laptop, I was studying, and I felt guilty if I was doing anything else. I think anyone who's in medical school would know the type of guilt I'm talking about.
See, something I've learned about my degree is that there's never truly any free time. There is always work to be done and so any "free time" you have is carved out of the time you're supposed to be studying. When you're using this "free time" you end up feeling guilty, and then once you go back to studying you push yourself to unfathomable heights at the cost of your health (sometimes) in order to make up for that guilt. I wasn't really making time for myself, to deal with everything going on in my life, and the stress of exam week just compounded all the negativity I was in and I felt like I was drowning. Mind you, this all reached a climax the weekend before I was supposed to write, it was bad. I have dealt with it, or rather I'll just say I'm dealing with it.
I'm only in second year, and only nineteen, of course it'll take completely falling apart to ensure that I am able to build myself into something stronger. I know from observing my peers and people in other years that I'm going to have twenty more mental breakdowns by the time I'm done with school. Even then, internship will try its best to break me, and so will every single day working in the healthcare sector. I'm hoping that as the years go by, I will get better at coping, I already think that this year alone has left me more resilient and better able to take care of myself.
However, that's not the point of this entry, this is my way of coming on here and saying I haven't stopped writing completely. I have been writing, a lot actually, I just didn't want what I posted here to be tainted by the mental state that I was in. I will be posting as the weeks go by, there is still a lot of editing to be done, but you guys will be hearing from me more often (hopefully). I am going into another hectic exam season soon though, so don't be surprised if I disappear again, just know I am trying to save the semester.
RAWR XD
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